Making Creativity a Priority

Just for Me: A Reminder to Just Enjoy

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There is a core belief I have held that needs to be released.

The belief that my creativity needs to be earned.
Needs to be valued, ie, paid for, in order for it to be valid.

I am not sure where this belief came from really. From a young age I wanted to be a writer. Somewhere along the line I believed I needed to have a “real” job until I got my big writer’s break and was given a writing contract thus solidifying my happily-ever-after.

I started out as a nursing major in college and quickly realized that was not where I belonged. I tried journalism and life (thankfully) knocked me off that road as well. And over the years I have grown up, bought houses, married, had children am raising and homeschooling said children all the while in the back of my mind trying to figure out how to validate my creativity.

That is, to be paid for it and making myself a “real” writer and a “real” artist.

I was talking with my (turning 12 this week) year-old son the other day. He was showing me the comic books he’s been working on. The characters he’s created, the back stories, telling me the story arcs he has planned. At one point I mentioned selling them someday and he just shrugged and said, “eh, I kind of just want these to be for me you know?”

Just for him. I smiled and told him how great that was.

And that little phrase has been running around my head now for the past week.

“Just for me.”

What would it look like if I made art just for me?

If I didn’t stop and think about how this sketch would get me better at drawing faces so I could sell those stickers I had in mind.

If I didn’t silently chastise myself each and every day for not making strides toward my creative career.

I had an astrology reading done recently by KV. You can check out her Substack here (if you want your birth chart done I highly recommend her-she’s amazing!). In this reading she writes about how before I can share my spiritual gifts I need to walk the walk first, need to really go through the process myself so that I understand what it is I am going to be sharing.

Our creativity is just like that. First and foremost creativity is for the creator. It’s the way we understand what we experience in the world. It’s how we make sense of the random thoughts and ideas that stream into our conscious and dreaming minds. (Dragons anyone? No? Just me?).

We create worlds so that we can play in them. See what’s missing and add it. We get to know our way around our sketchbooks and our creative practice and that learning, that refining, that play is what brings us into alignment with our creative selves.

Whether or not we do anything more with it is a question for another day.

So, if like me you are chastising yourself for what your current creative practice looks like. If maybe you are thinking you should be doing more with it. Making it something else, I hope this is a quiet little reminder to do something just for you this week. I know I am.

Until next time…

-Michele, aka The Dreaming Dilettante

*If you are a fan of cozy mysteries and would like to be kept up to date with Book #1 in the Cassie and Polly Mystery Series you can click here. I promise no spamming or anything like that. It’s free and of course you can unsubscribe at any time. I am just getting that substack going but your support means the world!

You can continue reading the paid content over on my Substack here.

Doing It My Way: An Unguided Path to Creative Play

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I am working on my book. Did I mention that here? I am currently editing my first cozy mystery called “Houseplant Homicides” * that I should be releasing later this year.

The dream of making a living as a writer has been with me since I was about 10 years old. That’s quite a few decades and yet, it hasn’t happened for me yet. Of course it’s all to do with my own lack right? All the ways I haven’t been doing things correctly:

  • I wasn’t consistent enough
  • I wasn’t disciplined enough
  • I didn’t do an outline
  • I didn’t wake up early enough each day

    This is just the tip of all the things I have been saying to myself. Of course there is the constant comparison, the fact that I’m probably not a good writer anyway because I write just like a talk in full run-on sentences like my teacher in grade school used to always correct me about. Then of course there is just the realities of life and things happening and not wanting to.

So what’s new?

Well, there has been a lot of energy happening lately-maybe you’ve felt it? The spiritual part of me has been studying and learning and growing and, if I’m being completely honest totally freaking out. Anxiety? Check. Fear? Check. Moments of complete union and peace. Check.

I mean what is even happening?

So I’ve ridden the waves of uncertainty, panic, fear and self-doubt (screaming if I am being completely honest) and somewhere in the midst of all that I realized something.

At the root of it all, was me, trying to not be me.

I was in fear because I feared what would happen if I was truly me and “they” didn’t like it.

I was in doubt because being me couldn’t be enough could it?

I was panicking because I really wanted this thing but I have to do it in a way that isn’t me-don’t I?

So I started to let some of that go. Not perfect of course, I’m sure the waves will come back for me soon enough to deepen and expand what I think I’ve learned and expose the places where I haven’t learned enough.

But, I started.

I started to let go of anything that started with “should.”

“I should be writing now not working in the garden.”

“I should finish this thing before I start that thing.”

“I should write like this.”

Instead, I started to follow the things I found exciting. Like printed materials!

I am really excited about making books, printed, hold in your hands paper books. The ideas are coming forward and it feels so fun!

Work shouldn’t be fun right? It’s serious business.

Only, I’m not serious about business. I don’t even like the word business. I want to write, I want to share what I write. Maybe that’s success enough for me.

I mean, I am the one who gets to define what success looks like for me right? Like going from 12 to 19 subscribers since the start of the year-that’s success!

Writing a book-that’s a success!

Writing this substack post-success!

Having a publishing plan that looks nothing like something you would find in a “10 Steps to a Successful Book Launch” e-book-success!

It’s taken me longer than seems sensible to realize that I get to define this little life all for myself. Silly right?

Letting my creativity lead the way instead of studies or statistics feels like the best path for me. Allowing myself to create something in the way I want without getting caught up in the shoulds and have-to’s feels like the most authentic way to create and at the end of the day, it’s the act of creating that I love.

So here’s to doing it our way-whatever that is. Even if we are still figuring it out along the creative path. I’ll be sure to wave to you while I walk mine should ours intersect and the kettle will probably be on as well.

Much love!

Until next time…

-Michele, aka The Dreaming Dilettante

If you would like to read the subscriber supported additions you can subscribe to my Substack here.

Look What I Made!

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Being Creative with a Childlike Enthusiasm

It’s been a few weeks since my last Letter. I have been really tired and if I am honest my ideas were running a bit low. It’s so easy to get caught up in what I should be writing or sharing while simultaneously comparing myself to others. I was spiritually guided to lessen my input of what other people are creating and instead dig in to making stuff myself. When I practice this I notice how suddenly the energy returns to my body.

Simply sitting and thinking about what I would like to make starts the influx of energy into my body. What seems to stop it is when I try to think how to turn that into a Substack post or a blog post or YT video. There was this reel I saw on Instagram by Rick Rubin and he’s talking about just that. Making the most amazing thing you can as a form of worship.

My quiet time with God (or Spirit or whatever word feels truest for you-we are the ones who made up language anyway so feel free to translate my word to something you love and feel inspired by) has been “just make it, stop trying to monetize it.”

Where did I get this idea that my time is only well spent if it makes me money? Why do I think I need to be legitimized as an artist in the form of currency?

You know the best paying job I ever had-not just dollars and cents but in overall well-being-was pet sitting. I started the business about 19 years ago and it was the easiest business for me to grow and make a really wonderful living at. It required very little effort on my part as far as growing the business itself (finding customers) and all the joy went into caring for these furry kids and being outside and going for walks. I used to record my podcasts while I walked the dogs and it was just beautiful and easy.

So, why do I think I need to force money from my creativity? Why would it be any different? I love animals and my love and sincerity was evident to the pet parents when I met them. They knew their pets were safe with me and that I would love and spoil them. I didn’t have to force it. I didn’t have to change how I approached the visit I was just me, Michele, loving animals and doing my thing.

So maybe that’s the shift that needs to happen. The exhaustion I have been feeling is from the striving to prove myself in the dollars and cents world. It’s ironic because between you and me I really dislike that world. I don’t want to live there. I want to live where the creatives are-the fun ones not the ones who like to dissect art and music into this mysterious thing that takes a lifetime to master and has to look a certain way. No I am talking about the ones who are playing who are locked into that amazing creative feeling that we get when we are just doing what we love because we love it and we were made to do it.

So here’s to playing, to making something fun and exciting and sharing it just like my 7 and 11 year-olds share their work with me. They sit down and draw in their sketchbooks with whatever tools they have on hand then hold it up and go, “look what I made!” And I love that so much. I love the pride in their faces and the joy in their hearts. I want to be that again.

So here are the things I have been making. I invite you to imagine me holding them up to you going, “look what I made” with each one. Then, if you would like, please comment below and share what you are making. You can even take a “look what I made” photo of you holding it up if you want. You can link to your Substack post too so we can all come over and ooh and ahhh over it. Let’s be kids and share our work with fun and enthusiasm.

I finished the journal for my Stroudsburg trip! It was so much fun and I am planning on sharing more about the trip and some process videos so let me know if that’s something you would like to see. The journal is overflowing with chunkiness and I made it part memory part junk journal. I loved the challenge of taking a small little trip and filling an entire journal with goodies and it’s definitely something I am going to replicate. It was so much fun to be on my trip and looking for things to add to my notebook. I think an everyday journal would be fun too…..

I didn’t technically make this cover this past week but I wanted to share. I am taking part in my own version of the 100 Days of Slow Stitch by Ann Wood Handmade and this is the cover to hold my pages. I really love how it came out and each night while I am watching TV with my teen daughter I stitch a few pages. I stumbled upon making pages as a sort of vision board for things I am working to realize this year. Below are the pages I am working on

The top right is the first page I slow stitched. I made my studio shed that I want to build in our backyard. The door actually opens to show a little kitty inside sleeping on a pile of books.

 

The middle one is my dream of owning a horse someday. I finished the page but now I am going back to add some fabric and stitches around him.

The top left one is our dream homestead. Land, a cozy house and animals. sigh.

Lastly I am attending my first Zine fest next week. I am taking my 7 year-old with me as she loves making zines and I thought it would be fun. I have an advertisement running for the event and so it seemed only fitting to give away a free zine to anyone who subscribes to my Substack at any level. For those of you lovely subscribers I will send it out to you once it’s all done but for now I have the cover to share as a sneak peak.

 

Below are some things I have been loving and finding inspiring since our last letter. Enjoy!

Until next time…

-Michele, aka The Dreaming Dilettante

Subscribe here to find out what’s been inspiring me, when my creativity session will be available along with this week’s reads.

Relaxing Color with Me

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Today I am sharing a short video with you. I recently purchased a very simple coloring book and some new crayons so I could take a few minutes to relax and de-stress without worrying about what I would create or do.

I wanted to share this with you in the hope that you would be inspired to take a few minutes with your creativity today. To not worry about doing anything challenging or worrying about results but to just relax, have fun and be creative.

Wishing you a beautiful day!

Until next time…

-Michele, aka The Dreaming Dilettante

Staying on Path

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A beautiful desk-but not mine 🙂

I am sitting in the studio, in my cozy chair with a cup of decaf french vanilla. Dinner was delicious-albeit a bit decadent with all it’s cheesy yumminess-and I am taking time to just sit and visit with you all a bit.

The ideas have been swirling and for what feels like the first time I am able to keep up with them. In the past I have had ideas flood in that often took me in various different directions. Lately however, I feel more grounded, my plans and ideas have a direction and I am able to move along at what feels like a grounded steady pace. Sometimes I just don’t have the energy or if I am being honest, the inclination or dedication to stick to the plans I set out. If I were to offer a guess, it’s because in the past I let anything that peaked my interest take center stage rather than vetting it for cohesiveness and longevity.

So often I was lead off of my path to be taken down one that, while interesting, isn’t for me.  My husband and I will joke that we get distracted by “something shiny” and off we go. I am working very diligently at appreciating the shiny but letting it float on its merry way to it’s real home.

My focus lately has been on my first in-person art journaling class. Launching my new digikits as well as my dollhouse channel. I want creativity to be my focus and I want to focus on sharing it in an inspiring way to others but I also want to be spending time each day living my creativity not just creating content. I was guided today to take a good look at my creative corner at home. If you aren’t familiar it’s a little corner in our bedroom where I have a desk and lots of creative goodies to play with. The desk was covered with laundry and bags and various things that needed putting away. Most days if I am working at home I am at the kitchen table with my laptop but it was being suggested that maybe, I need to clear off my creative space so I can practice what I preach a bit more.

It’s hard to do little bits of creativity through the day when you need to dig through laundry to find your journal. And while I love creating content my creative practice is first and foremost what sustains me through the day to day of life. It’s what supports me when I am feeling frazzled-giving me an outlet for the struggles-and it’s also what grounds me in the good days-helping to savor the little moments.

So today I cleared the desk, I uncovered the 10 journals I have started prepping and made a plan to sit there each day-if only for 5 minutes-and have a play.

Our world makes distractions so easy and focus-especially on the truth of what matters to us-hard to come by. I want to be deliberate with my time and how I spend my energy and paint covered hands and collage pages always bring me joy.

Thursdays are also the days where I give my book club update. This week I am still working on the same 3 books I mentioned last week. I have been listening to the audiobook during studio time and have been trying to read my Scottish Bookshop book during the day but haven’t been very successful. With any luck come next Thursday I will have completed these 3 books and have some new ones to share with you.

I hope this post finds you well. Are you reading anything good? I would love to hear!

Until next time…

-Michele, aka The Dreaming Dilettante

 

Video: Let’s Make Some Unfinished Art Journaling Pages

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Hello everyone I hope your week is off to a great start.

I’ve been struggling with some anxiety lately and time in the studio today really helped re-focus my attention. I worked in my Creative Business Journal doing my first 4 page spread. I shared this journal in a previous video that you can watch in this blog post.

Today I decided to a play with my ink sprays that have been collecting dust. It was a lot of fun-even with some jammed nozzles. Initially I thought I was just going to make some backgrounds but then I decided to add a little collage as well. Combined with some quick stenciling, tissue paper and some acryllic paints and I had a really fun time.

The key for me was to just have fun. I had to let go of wanting to make a perfect page or even create a unique video to share on my channel. While I want to make interesting content what I really want to do is to share my process in the hopes of inspiring you to make some art each day. Even if you feel you can’t do a lot or you aren’t an artist it’s really worth giving yourself a few minutes each day to play with paper and color.

Want to join me? This video is just about 5 minutes long. Why not get out some supplies, your favorite cuppa and let’s create together. If you do-please comment below and tell me what you made-or better yet link to your blog so I can hop over and see!

Until next time…

-Michele, aka The Dreaming Dilettante