Do you ever feel as if there isn’t space for you?
Often times I feel that I am so generous giving of my time and energy and physical space to others that it can appear there isn’t much left for me. I remember I went to a seminar one time and a woman arrived late and was looking around for a seat so I made room so she could sit next to me. Later she continual asked that I move my chair over so she had more room. So much so that if I moved any more I would be out in the aisle and I finally had to very firmly tell her no.
I often feel I have to hold boundaries. That my generosity is often met by others with a grab it before it’s gone type mentality until I feel I have been plucked clean of any space I had. What’s interesting is when I realize how much time and energy I spend making sure everyone has what they need-but me.
I mentioned in Monday’s post how I am recovering and resting. I have been longing to paint and it just felt like something I couldn’t do. Tonight I was watching an art class and I so wanted to take part but when I looked over I saw my desk was covered with all sorts of odds and ends.
I had no space to create.
And while I didn’t think I would paint I realized that as long as the desk was covered I wasn’t going to paint so I got up and cleared away the mess. It took maybe 15 minutes and my desk was clean and ready to use whenever I felt the urge to paint. I also found a scrap of paper that inspired me to make a random collage journal and a journal I had made a few months back that would be perfect for it!
Then I decided to sit down and paint. It was a short session while the kids got ready for bed but it was time for me. It was spaciousness that I gave myself as a gift. Just before I wrote this post I sat down for some more art time and I can already feel myself restoring from the gift of making space for myself. I am still working on the piece but I will share a photo here when it’s all done.
What can you do to make space for yourself? Is there something you can do to make things easier so when you are inspired to create you can just get down to the fun part? I would love to hear.
Until next time…
-Michele, aka The Dreaming Dilettante
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