I am currently running on a wave of creative energy. Today I am working on a fairly in-depth project here at Dreaming Dilettante and as a part of that project I wanted to write a bit about how I started to not only make time for my creativity but to claim the time and how that made such a difference for me.
Before I go into claiming my creativity I wanted to share a realization I had. I have never in my life used the word “career” referring to myself and/or my own work. I spoke of jobs and work but never career. The realization was a bit of an eye-opener for me because I realized that I never felt any work I did before (for which I received a paycheck) was a career. They were always place holders for that thing I was eventually going to do. More recently though I didn’t feel I could use the word career because it can’t be that big of thing if you aren’t being paid for it right? If you aren’t receiving a paycheck regularly then it’s not a career or a job right?
So what is it?
When I decided to claim the weekend mornings for my creativity I shared the idea with my husband who thought it was a great idea (he’s kinda awesome). As I was talking about this idea of claiming the weekends I was able to see where my own personal blocks had been in really owning my creative time.
You see, I didn’t think I could make time for my creativity because I wasn’t being paid for it. How could I justify taking time each day just for my art? Now there is probably 3 books worth of delving into why I felt like that but suffice to say I just decided that was all kinda crap and I’m not going to think like that anymore. To help me along the way I was gifted with the realization that before any amazing creative was getting paid anything for their amazing creativity they, well, weren’t getting paid, but they still were being creative.
You have to write a book before you can get an agent and/or a publishing contract. So before any great writer was a published, getting paid great writer they were telling friends and family “sorry I’m writing, can’t.” At least I imagine they did. Or perhaps they squirreled away in the wee hours of the night writing secretly by candlelight.
Either way they made time to do the thing they loved to do simply because they loved to do it.
I realized that even if I never make a penny from all my creative endeavors I still love them. I still want to do them. Elizabeth Gilbert in her book “Big Magic” said she never asked anything from her writing she just showed up. I think that’s beautiful and it made me think of all the things I asked of my writing before I even gave it my full attention. How I begged it to give me a publishing contract so I could get out of that job before I even dedicated daily attention to the act of writing.
I was thinking of selling my art long before I connected with the essence of my art. Long before I really fell in love with making my art.
It was a bit like going on 2 dates with someone and asking for their undying loyalty and devotion when all you had done was have 2 meals with them and decide you kinda liked them.
My creativity deserves so much more than that. It deserves more than my taking time for it, more than me squeezing in a few stolen moments here and there.
It deserves my full devotion. In fact, when you find that thing you love to do. The one you would do whether or not you earned money from it. It’s more than a career or a job even if it pays you boatloads of money. That thing that’s not a career and not a job? It’s purpose. It’s the whole reason your soul hopped aboard this human ride. It deserves claiming.
So I claimed the weekend mornings. On the weekends for 3-4 hours I do my creative thing. I am in my tiny studio space, I light some incense (which really helps set the tone and creative energy) and I sit down and I play. I start with playing never with the intention of finishing anything or making anything. I just play with things that look like fun to play with. My first weekend I made cardboard buttons, air dry clay stars, a wooden 8×8 painting of a girl my son thinks is me, a new journal cover, set up a new journal and began the cover for one of my energy journals. I also slapped down a lot of paint in my sketchbooks and journals and overall just really had a great time.
For me, “taking time” feels like something I am stealing away with. I am taking time out or taking time with-it almost feels like I am pulling from one place and putting it somewhere else. “Claiming” the time feels powerful and strong and like I am declaring this space as my own. It just feels better.
I will be honest, I do hope to one day receive money for the work I do. I would love nothing more than to retire my husband and spend my days making art, sharing art, inspiring others to make and share art and making some money while I’m at it.
For now however I am going to spend some time getting to know my creativity. Take her out on some mini-adventures, maybe some dinners and really get to know who she is without making any demands of her-or myself. Right now we just want to play, get to know each other and have fun.
Here’s to courting our creativity.
Until next time…
-Michele aka The Dreaming Dilettante
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