It’s been a beautiful weekend.
I am currently writing this in a hotel room on an impromptu artist retreat. The idea was sparked and realized only a few days ago and I must say it’s been an amazing time.
I want to be able to share some photos of what I have been up to but that will all come in next week’s post. This isn’t me teasing you to subscribe or come back next week just that I don’t feel I can write it all up as I would like right now. It would feel rushed and to be honest I am getting loads of creative ideas that I want to have time to sit with so hopefully it will be worth the wait!
Today I wanted to write a bit about what I have experienced on this solo retreat and to do that properly I think a little back story is in order.
I am a stay-at-home, homeschooling Momma to 3 awesome kids. Truly, they are awesome. They are creative, smart, funny and best of all they know their own minds and I just love that.
My life is my family and has been for the past 15 years and while it’s challenging and hard and has grown me in ways I don’t think I could begin to summarize I know I am doing what I was meant to be doing during this season in my life.
Creativity, however, is my recharge. It’s where I can go and just rest, make a mess, write the words and show up exactly how I am and let it all go.
When I was 8 I decided I was going to be a writer. 8 year-old me knew this, never doubted it and to be honest writing is the one creative pursuit I never doubted about myself. Even when people told me something wasn’t good or that I couldn’t write I just knew they were wrong and went about my day. I’m not sure I realized that about myself until just now.
Man I love writing.
The one part I did question was my legitimacy as a writer. You see somewhere between 8 year-old me and the 40 years since I came under the misguided belief that to be a writer I had to prove it. It wasn’t enough to write I had to be published. It wasn’t enough to be published I had to earn money. It wasn’t enough to earn money I had to earn a lot of money.
Crazy right? I mean who makes up these cockamamie rules?
The answer? Me! I did!
Somewhere I decided that I had to prove myself. I had to prove I was a “real” writer. I had to show them that I had done it.
I don’t know who “they” were but apparently they were important enough to have me beating myself up for not being where I believed I was supposed to be.
Over the past maybe 2 weeks I have been on this deepening path. Deconstructing things, questioning old beliefs.
This creative weekend has really been a beautiful little balm for my creative soul. She so needed to be treated to a weekend of possibility with zero expectation. She needed to be rewarded for her strength, for showing up even though I was, to be honest, quite mean to her a lot.
In all of this, there has been a bit of a returning to myself. Reconnecting with the parts of me that had been patiently waiting for their time again. Parts that knew I needed my attention to be elsewhere but that one day I would come back and be so grateful they were still there.
If you are feeling stuck creatively. If you are questioning your legitimacy as a writer or an artist or just whether you are actually creative at all I would like to send you a virtual hug. I don’t know about you but I am so grateful I have creative outlets. Whether I am stitching something, writing something, playing something or whether I’m just thinking about those things.
Creativity is what connects me to me.
The bigger me.
Being creative connects me to The Creator and the energy and alignment that comes from that is, well, it’s truth.
I have been blessed to be able to get away for the weekend and I know that.
If you are a momma with little ones you may be reading this with one in your arms, through bleary eyes at 2 am on your phone.
I see you. Hang in there. You are doing amazing and you got a collective mamahood cheering you on as you go through the hard moments, the beautiful moments and everything in between.
If you are someone who just feels stuck, uninspired or maybe not even sure how to begin to get back your creative spark-I see you. Stuck is part of the journey. Sometimes the only thing I could do was watch other people be creative or read the writings of others. You aren’t alone. You aren’t behind. You aren’t wasting time. If this extremely long north eastern winter has reminded me of anything it’s that all things need a pause. We aren’t any different.
Maybe you are someone in the feasting stage of creativity. You are full of ideas as they flood in fast and furious and you are just trying to keep up. I am cheering you on and hope you know that the making is enough. If no one reads it, listens to it or sees it, it’s enough. You are a beautiful creative-making machine!
If I could wish one thing for all of us, it would be to spend a bit of time today recognizing our amazing gifts. Seeing all we have been given. Resting in the things we have already done, made or dreamed. To relish in the creative expression of another and send them a little cheer for not only making something but sharing it. Our energy goes so far and even if we can’t reach out to someone and say “way to go you” offering up an energetic cheer really does make a difference.
So that is all for me. I have some creative plans before I leave but they may not happen until I get home and that is alright with me. Thank you for being here with me on my journey and I wish you a beautiful week!
Until next time…
-Michele, aka The Dreaming Dilettante
Today I am sharing a short video with you. I recently purchased a very simple coloring book and some new crayons so I could take a few minutes to relax and de-stress without worrying about what I would create or do.